So I read an article on Psychology Today magazine’s website about how for the most part good old social media is a destructive competition in narcissism.
“Tell us something we didn’t know!!” I hear you all cry.
The article told of (obviously) as posters and publishers we show (nearly always) the few things we do which we dream was our real life, not a mere blink in our day to day ordinary grey being, or instead we try to make our average and ordinary life appear to be something our followers and alleged friends envy – to be something they’d rather be entertaining instead of the washing or ironing they’re knee deep in as they take their turn into being the voyeur of anyone else’s life they’d rather be living.
On the downside, followers were generally trapped in the belief and envy of everyone else’s life which looks so much more exciting.
The only real winners apparently [LEARN HERE PEOPLE] are those of you who utilise the images as a reminder of a human you enjoy being with and then message them to set up a physical and actual interaction. Remember, like we used to do, in the old days. When we talked on the phone. And went for coffee to find out what we were all doing instead of soaking it up in 3 minute bursts of staring at your phone with the drag of your thumb and posting a like or a lol.
Restoring some balance
I can’t beat the Internet I’m afraid. I have no intention of trying. I don’t even like that many people all that much if I’m being honest. I spent many years doing the narcissistic challenge even though I thought I wasn’t. I didn’t really post the things I was doing to make anyone envious of my exciting activities, but gags and japes of a hilarious soul and spent most of my online life playing the clown and making people laugh. I still play that fool on Twitter, FB and Instagram but I kinda feel like it’s ok because now I know why and my end result isn’t a need or a hope failing to be met, I know I’m just killing time between rounds of golf, or classes, or as a break from writing when I don’t have the luxury of meeting any of my friends to feed my social interaction mental health pool. I occasionally play the same fool in real life so maybe that’s a part of the real me anyway? Or maybe I’m still seeking some validation however much I believe I’ve dealt with my old demons and think I’ve got a better handle on not wanting to die anymore.
The clowning around I did before I learned how my brain works and still do in lesser chunks was I realise pretty much the same as everyone else. Trying to find validation for a life full of gaps, holes, questions and frustration.
So what to do?
I thought the only thing I could do to try balance the scales was to post the dreary mundane real life things I embarked on each day to my followers and in no way glamorise them to make them fun or exciting. Though I must admit, I rather like how it’s starting to look, with its lack of pretension, of narcissism, of anything but normal; and weirdly such a nicer collage it’s starting to create because of it. It’s soothing. Looking at a real life and not at a highly polished sparkling fib.
I’m not posting a link to it. I’m not looking for followers. Not until I’m posting anything worth following or at all interesting. It’s not supposed to be art. It’s supposed to be sarcasm yet its turned into something else which if it keeps heading that way I’ll have to stop that too because I’ll be slowly turning into the thing I’m trying to avoid.
Only thing is, there are just as many people liking those pictures as there were before, when my posts were fun, worth some recognition, or so I thought.
I can’t win.
Taking my sarcasm and making it into something creative and clever behind my back. Turning my own child against me.
You just can’t win.