To feature in the forthcoming: Like A Tiny Sparrow Rising From The Ashes

Did I mention
I like attention
It’s an addiction
Or at least an affliction
Don’t we all
We all want another
To treat us like
Nobody else matters
Nobody else comes close
To us
To me
And those in the past
Whose job it was
Back then
They failed
To the nth degree
From the outset
Maybe I was needier then
Maybe I wasn’t
Maybe I don’t care anymore
Now it doesn’t matter
Because I won
The queen of the givers
Hurrah for me
And thank god
For her
I’m full to the brim
It’s glorious
But I still can’t get enough
Even though I’m stuffed
I’d gorge if I could
I’d take so much more
I’d throw up on love
I’d swallow it down
Just to have my stomach
Wretch on kindness
I’d eat you
Every inch
Just so I’d pass out on being loved
Fabulously happily
But knowing this now
And seeing what was
How much is enough
It’s all relative
I see it now
Now that I know how attentive
An attenter
Like you
Distributing attention
To an attentee
Like me
Can be
It’s relative
I’ve learned to see
That a beast unfed
Gets hungrier
And hungrier
By the day
To the point where
It will kill
To feed
Well I never got that far
With those
Who failed
I was a bit hungry
Not starving
But I did spit my dummy out and delete the offenders
One at a time
P45s for failures in love
So now
I hear you ask
How was my rehab
How was my recovery
From the lack of attention
That I’m now loathe to mention
It’s fed
I now know not what it’s like
I now know not what it’s like
I now know not what it’s like
To crave a missing part of a desire I craved
Because all my needs are met
All my wants are gorged
All my gaps where the pain hurt hard
Are full of a paste fixing the best of worlds together
All made of all things kind
And warm
Did I mention
I like attention
And I’m purring like
The fattest fucking cat
Full of the cream I got
Full of the smiles of the sandboy
Full of the butterflies of wow
Full of the attention I need
Full of the magical pixie dust
We know as oxytocin
And a handful of other chemicals
My brain likes and lusts for
That are manufactured
In a magical human factory
By the truckload
And delivered
With the care
And the love
Hanging off my arm
Washing my hair
Kissing my neck
Holding my heart like it’s the most important thing in the world
Because to her
And she melts me with this
It is


My Enemy Turned Ally

Currently unpublished

I used to lie awake at night
With nothing but my thoughts
Goading me to despair
Leading me hand in sweating panicking pulling retracting hand
Into oblivion
Into sadness
Into anxious worlds
That only death held a hopeful
Illuminated green exit sign
Above the door to freedom
As the best way
As the only way
Or so I thought
Out of that mess
Continue reading “My Enemy Turned Ally”

It’s a New Day

Currently unpublished:

Without all the pain
And the hurt
The confusion
That has made me what I was
For the past 25 years at least
Without all the angry
The torment
The fuel for my creations
My stories
My art
Without them
Now that I’ve killed them
I’ve strangled their throats
I’ve rid them of breath
I’ve drained them of life
And now that they’re gone
What have I left
Continue reading “It’s a New Day”