So I’ve been doing a lot of work on bettering myself mentally over the past 4- or 5-years. Some of the things I’ve found out have been quite enlightening. Many of the things I’ve learned have, in turn, provided the new tools I use to live better, and healthier, by.
A big part of this has been learning about where my many, many, MANY mistakes came from, and which parts of my decision making processes were carried out by ideas in my subconsciousness; a subconscious that should never been allowed behind the wheel in the first place.
One of the psychology areas I got stuck into and became quite obsessed by, was Attachment Theory. From being told that a lot of the decisions I made, throughout both my childhood and adult life, were based on what I perceived as normal, or to be more exact, what my subconscious believed was normal because of the limited amount of subject-matter it could use to learn from. Using said limited amount of experience, to program my mind and ill-equipped sense of self that became my rule-book to live by, I now understand why I did so badly at almost every juncture. That programming stays put as our go-to decision making process unless we do something to change it. So, if we’re broken as children, we’re going to be pretty broken for the duration, unless (and I hear you all join in unison) we’re prepared to do something about it.
We’re all products of our environment; what we don’t realise is that we don’t have to be.
Attachment styles are indicative of our upbringing. They form the backbone into how we create relationships. Now, if you’re one of the lucky ones who has had nothing but happy and healthy romances, then good for you. Keep moving along—nothing for you to see here. But if you’ve been plagued with rocky romances, drama and conflict, your attachment style could well explain why or give you a starting point to consider where it all started. More importantly, it could help you put it straight. I know exactly what to look for now, what not to look for, where I’ve been going wrong, and why.
Putting it all into practise, however, that’s still a work in progress. You’ll know when I’ve finally got it sorted as I’ll be skipping down the aisle with the girl of my dreams.
Or a dog in a dress.
Most likely the dog. I hope it looks good in chiffon and lace and chews on bone-mints…
Buy it here: Blurb.com
Read it here: When is a Queen… PDF